Old habits die hard

So, 2 weeks ago I had a personal "revelation". For those of you who know me, I am not the skinniest chick in the coop. I have always been the big girl in the crowd. Since my geek and I have been married I had been excerising sporadically, but I hadn't really changed my eating habits.
Two weeks ago, I felt like I NEEDED to work out. So, thats what I did. I went to the clubhouse, got on the elyptical and worked as hard as I could for 30 minutes. As I was running away on the machine I had a whole 30 minutes to think. I thought about my life thus far, and what I wanted. I decided being the fat girl who was pretty wasn't enough for me. I want to be as healthy as possible. I want to do what I have been told my entire life is impossible.
I have had my own family members tell me growing up that I would always be the "big girl". Well I am NOT always going to be the big girl. I am taking charge of this body that Heavenly father has provided me with and I am going to make it the best it can be. I want to be able to run with the girls. I want to live to be over a hundred. I want to feel sexy and KNOW I am sexy. I want all the things that I was told I would never have. So heres to the start of the new me.

Wha' Happened(ening?)

So, my darling wife has rightly mentioned (and especially to me) my lack of postage here (or anywhere else for that matter). I suppose that's what you get when you go to school full time, work a bit, and have a family life. But hopefully I'll be able to spend some time more often doing this sort of thing. School is over in a few weeks and that totally reminds me that I need to call and set up an appointment to have an interview for an internship this summer!

Yay! So this gal is going to call me back with available times for an interview. I'm really looking forward to it and I hope I get the job. I really love to program, and I think it will be rather good experience being able to try and maintain other people's code.

I also should see about writing up the Sieve of Eratosthenes. It's some practice for the CS Programming team. We're supposed to get to where we can write and debug that in under 5 minutes. I'm installing Visual Studio Express on my computer, since the Acxiom programming challenge only uses Visual Studio. Which is sad, because I have all sorts of nifty scripts and what-not that improve my speed... especially using Vim. Mmmm, delicious vim!

Oh well. I guess that's life for ya. Also, if I do get this job I'll be programming exclusively in Microsoft's .NET framework. I don't really have anything against it - other than it's not vi. Well, I suppose that's enough random rambling about my general geekiness.

So...

I notice that my dear husband does not post hardly ever. This was his idea, to combine our blog and then he doesn't post lol. Ah well tis the way life is I guess. So last week was kind of crazy. This month has been kind of crazy in a nutshell. KayLynn and I were in a minor accident. That wasn't very much fun. Neither one of us was hurt but I was in a little shock, or a lot of shock I don't know.
Then my dear geek and I kind of had a rough week last week. We finally talked it through. I think you get to a point in marriage where you know that nothing will get better until one of you gives in and listens. Sadly I wasn't in the listening mood all week. It didn't matter how hard my geek tried I still kept blowing up at him. I felt bad about it and would apologize but it was like evything he did plus the girls and plus work was just grating on my every nerve. Not very much fun.
It was all good though. We talked it through and I kept my mouth closed for longer than a minute and it all worked out.
So we also went to oklahoma for a visit and that was fun. We stayed at my friends house and froze the first night. It wasn't very comfortable either but I love her and I wouldn't trade that time spent with her for anything. We drove all over saturday trying to find a headlight for my car only to find out that none of the salvage yards there were open. Then we rigged it up with some self lamanating stuff and tape, that was fun.
We also went to have a visit with the girls "real father". It was rather exciting the first few minutes because he threw a fit and threatened my geek. Not cool. I was looking forward to the girls seeing their "Father" for the first time in months. I guess some people just never grow up though. But we were able to go inside and enjoy our visit with his mom and dad and his new girlfriend and the girls' half sister.
I hope that one day when the girls are older that both I and their "father" will be able to come to them and tell them the story. That they might be able to understand that they are loved and we want the best for them. I hope that I am setting a great example for them now. I have accomplished so much in the last 2 years. I have gone through a year of college with 2 children, I have found a great daddy for them, and for me, and I have an awesome job. I love my girls and i love life with them. I guess thats it for today.

sadness

So I have come to realise that some people are just not meant to be in your life forever. I am so sad because someone I thought was my best friend, someone whom I spent almost my every waking moment with, someone who knows all of my secrets, someone who held me as i cried, someone who could make me laugh no matter what, that someone has failed to be apart of my life for the last two years. They never return my calls, they never return emails or facebook messages. I feel like crying. But I do realise that sometimes people just lose touch or just would rather have nothing to do with you and I guess thats how it goes. It just sucks...

So proud

so very very proud of myself for realising my behavior last night. I was a little upset when I got home last night due to some frustration at work and having to work late. Then to top it off I came home to a husband on the computer and children making a mess. I wasn't too happy and I didin't directly tell my loved one. I just ranted and raved about and made everyone else miserable because I was. It hadn't helped that through the week I had come home with a migraine just about every night. So as I was ranting I got me some food and sat down at our bar and proceeded to eat.
As I watched my husband clean various things I realised how uptight he was and that made me think twice about how he was acting. I didn't want him to be in a bad mood too. It was already bad enough with just me. So as soon as I realised I was hurting my loved ones I apologised. I said that I was sorry for my behavior and that it just was frustrating to come home and have to work more. So we worked it out and talked(talking is the best!) and we were able to understand where both of us were coming from.
I love that my husband loves me. I am so glad that we both knew what we were getting into with this marriage. I am so thankful that were both willing to understand eachothers faults and forgive. I am so happy that he can still love me even after I am a pain :)

Wonderful

So... I am married to the most amazing, wonderful woman there ever could be. She has a lot of patience with me and my weaknesses. And I've got a lot of them.

She also gets so happy/excited when I do some things I would consider simple (and I really love it). Her brother (whom she hasn't talked to much at his choice) just gave her his phone number (or at least a number to call him at), and she asked if she could use my phone tonight when I go to scouts.

When I told her she could, her response was incredibly enthusiastic and appreciative. For such a simple thing... It makes me wonder a little bit about gratitude. Perhaps I'll post some more if I have some time later...

icky

My head hurts so bad right now it stinks. I want to go home and lay down. My eyes are just barely staying open because the light is killing me. Man I woke up in a bad mood....and now I have a migraine to top it off....and im feeling puky....I need some lovin