Kind Words

Last night Geekheart and I watched the video of this talk. It got me thinking a little bit about how often we as husbands, wives, and people, tend to speak unkindly to each other, and children, even in jest.

"Gosh," the husband says sarcastically, "Maybe if you weren't such a klutz you could make me dinner without spilling all over yourself!"

"You're such an idiot," says the wife, "I can't believe you didn't see that turn back there!"

"Kid! Why can't you do anything right? You're such a slacker!" says the irate parent to their child.

If you go pretty much anywhere, you'll find husbands and wives and parents all perpetrating pain on their loved ones. It's a difficult thing to honestly examine one's life and keep an eye out for the pain we cause. Most of the times we won't even see it, because we dismiss it as "oh, I'm just joking, and (s)he knows it."

The problem is that even if we know it's a joke, it doesn't make the words any kinder.

I think one of my favourite comics that sort-of deals with the subject is the Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin breaks his dad's binoculars. His dad starts yelling and screaming, and Calvin says, as near as I can recall, "Dad, here's an idea. Let's pretend I already feel bad enough and you don't need to rub it in anymore." I believe that most of us know when we make mistakes. We tend to feel bad about them. And at the very moment we need comfort from the ones we love, they get angry and disappointed with us.

It's not good for anyone. So let's resolve to speak kinder to those we love, and those who love us. I have a sneaking suspicion that we will find ourselves happier, and life will be a lot nicer.

Slowly but gradualy

Hmmm, I don't think I spelled gradualy right. Oh well. So an update on progress. This last week has been quite hectic. We were out busily searching for a car and not home enough for me to work out. I did work out monday and tuesday. I am proud I did at least do 2 days. My geek and I have decided since we saved money on the purchase of my car :) that we will buy a Wii with Wii fit. So excited for that!!! So now I have no excuses. So when I am at home I have something that will motivate and be fun to do. Plus the girls can do it with me too.
The girls have started going to a new daycare. It is in home and Ms.Peggy only has a son. So it's just 3 of them and she takes them to the zoo and to the Museum of Discovery. They are having a blast. They have also started doing baby gymnastics! I am so proud of them when they can do my stretches with me. I am very happy with this new babysitter.
So back to healthy me. My geek is such a goober. Every time I turn around he is commenting on the fact that my stomach seems to be dissapearing. This is good, but I still feel like the big girl when i look in the mirror. Im working on that and I know that it will get better.
Things are changing and I feel great!

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So, my Geekheart is so wonderful! It impresses me so much when I see her work out, and change her eating habits. I do try to be supportive - though sometimes I'm not as supportive as I should be.

We bought some tickets to go see Disney on Ice with the girls, and we had more than we needed, so GH has been looking for someone to take with us. She finally decided on this gal that works with her who has some kids. When she came in today to pick up the tickets the lady was so excited and happy. I wish I could have been there.

Switching gears again, with my beautiful bride eating healthy, she has influenced my eating habits as well. Usually I don't eat terribly healthy, but I don't usually eat tons and tons either. But I'm eating quite a bit better now, thanks to my wife. It's really interesting, too. When she does things, I want to do them too. Sometimes (more than she knows) it even includes chores. When I'm told to do things that aren't being done by the one telling me, it's an awful lot harder to take that council at face value. Usually it gets rejected.

But I love to do things with my wife.

Old habits die hard

So, 2 weeks ago I had a personal "revelation". For those of you who know me, I am not the skinniest chick in the coop. I have always been the big girl in the crowd. Since my geek and I have been married I had been excerising sporadically, but I hadn't really changed my eating habits.
Two weeks ago, I felt like I NEEDED to work out. So, thats what I did. I went to the clubhouse, got on the elyptical and worked as hard as I could for 30 minutes. As I was running away on the machine I had a whole 30 minutes to think. I thought about my life thus far, and what I wanted. I decided being the fat girl who was pretty wasn't enough for me. I want to be as healthy as possible. I want to do what I have been told my entire life is impossible.
I have had my own family members tell me growing up that I would always be the "big girl". Well I am NOT always going to be the big girl. I am taking charge of this body that Heavenly father has provided me with and I am going to make it the best it can be. I want to be able to run with the girls. I want to live to be over a hundred. I want to feel sexy and KNOW I am sexy. I want all the things that I was told I would never have. So heres to the start of the new me.

Wha' Happened(ening?)

So, my darling wife has rightly mentioned (and especially to me) my lack of postage here (or anywhere else for that matter). I suppose that's what you get when you go to school full time, work a bit, and have a family life. But hopefully I'll be able to spend some time more often doing this sort of thing. School is over in a few weeks and that totally reminds me that I need to call and set up an appointment to have an interview for an internship this summer!

Yay! So this gal is going to call me back with available times for an interview. I'm really looking forward to it and I hope I get the job. I really love to program, and I think it will be rather good experience being able to try and maintain other people's code.

I also should see about writing up the Sieve of Eratosthenes. It's some practice for the CS Programming team. We're supposed to get to where we can write and debug that in under 5 minutes. I'm installing Visual Studio Express on my computer, since the Acxiom programming challenge only uses Visual Studio. Which is sad, because I have all sorts of nifty scripts and what-not that improve my speed... especially using Vim. Mmmm, delicious vim!

Oh well. I guess that's life for ya. Also, if I do get this job I'll be programming exclusively in Microsoft's .NET framework. I don't really have anything against it - other than it's not vi. Well, I suppose that's enough random rambling about my general geekiness.

So...

I notice that my dear husband does not post hardly ever. This was his idea, to combine our blog and then he doesn't post lol. Ah well tis the way life is I guess. So last week was kind of crazy. This month has been kind of crazy in a nutshell. KayLynn and I were in a minor accident. That wasn't very much fun. Neither one of us was hurt but I was in a little shock, or a lot of shock I don't know.
Then my dear geek and I kind of had a rough week last week. We finally talked it through. I think you get to a point in marriage where you know that nothing will get better until one of you gives in and listens. Sadly I wasn't in the listening mood all week. It didn't matter how hard my geek tried I still kept blowing up at him. I felt bad about it and would apologize but it was like evything he did plus the girls and plus work was just grating on my every nerve. Not very much fun.
It was all good though. We talked it through and I kept my mouth closed for longer than a minute and it all worked out.
So we also went to oklahoma for a visit and that was fun. We stayed at my friends house and froze the first night. It wasn't very comfortable either but I love her and I wouldn't trade that time spent with her for anything. We drove all over saturday trying to find a headlight for my car only to find out that none of the salvage yards there were open. Then we rigged it up with some self lamanating stuff and tape, that was fun.
We also went to have a visit with the girls "real father". It was rather exciting the first few minutes because he threw a fit and threatened my geek. Not cool. I was looking forward to the girls seeing their "Father" for the first time in months. I guess some people just never grow up though. But we were able to go inside and enjoy our visit with his mom and dad and his new girlfriend and the girls' half sister.
I hope that one day when the girls are older that both I and their "father" will be able to come to them and tell them the story. That they might be able to understand that they are loved and we want the best for them. I hope that I am setting a great example for them now. I have accomplished so much in the last 2 years. I have gone through a year of college with 2 children, I have found a great daddy for them, and for me, and I have an awesome job. I love my girls and i love life with them. I guess thats it for today.

sadness

So I have come to realise that some people are just not meant to be in your life forever. I am so sad because someone I thought was my best friend, someone whom I spent almost my every waking moment with, someone who knows all of my secrets, someone who held me as i cried, someone who could make me laugh no matter what, that someone has failed to be apart of my life for the last two years. They never return my calls, they never return emails or facebook messages. I feel like crying. But I do realise that sometimes people just lose touch or just would rather have nothing to do with you and I guess thats how it goes. It just sucks...